Today...

Sometimes when I sit down at my desk, I really WANT to write. the thing is, there's no subject in my mind, no specific idea upon which I want to expound or even ponder at any length. I read what others have written, and am so often uplifted or challenged to think differently about something I never questioned my "position" on before, and I come away feeling good about the time. But WRITING... having something to say that might even remotely be of any interest to anyone but myself? SAYING something, putting MY words out to the world...
And here my friend's words come softly to mind, gently chastening me not to listen to the words of doubt, but rather to give "voice" to the inner me, who struggles with self-worth, being of value, and being loved just for being myself. God uses her.

Recurring Vertigo

   I was laying on the floor playing with the pups who live with me two weeks ago (Tuesday, August 25, 2015), when in the process of getting up from there, I turned my head to the left... and BAM! Suddenly the world no longer sat in place as it should. In fact, it moved so violently that I felt obligated to turn my head back to center to see if I could make it stop! Just so you know, that doesn't work well.
 

   When it cleared up within a minute or so, I went on with my day, under the impression that, as in instances of its kind before, it would be quite some time before I experienced that again. However, much to my dismay and distress, it returned MUCH sooner than anticipated. To wit, only hours later, while floating in the swimming pool, once again upon turning my head to the left... BAM! The pool, sky, clubhouse, and all in sight, were swirling continuously but gently, round and round as if without a care in the world.

 

   My problem at that moment was that I was several yards out in the pool, no walls within reach, and I desperately needed to hold onto SOMETHING that wouldn't move! This time was worse than the first, lasted longer, and I also felt nauseous to the point it seemed I might hurl (thankfully I did NOT). With the help of the pool side, I managed to work my way to the steps in the corner and sit there till I thought I might be able to walk to the car. Thankfully, there was a guy there in the pool who was appropriately understanding of the situation, and assisted me in that walk to the car. :D

 

   The current thinking as to causes of vertigo include benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV), Vestibular neuritis or labyrinthitis, a virus which naturally has to go through its life cycle as antibiotics are useless on such), and one other somewhat unlikely cause, but being unlikely, I'm not bothering with it.

 

   It's a very disconcerting sensation, vertigo is... unnerving, as well! Just when the world seems to have righted itself, if one's head turns or tips or whichever move sets it off, it can feeling as if walking in the dark on a Tilt-a-Whirl ride that's in motion (for a visual, copy this link to your browser - http://yhoo.it/1O8sLnN), or VERY drunk.

 

   A nurse-friend I called recommended I get/take meclizine in whatever form I chose. I got the chewable lozenge which my doctor told me to take of three daily, but even with that, if I tipped, turned or moved my head suddenly to the left, I could tell I needed to stop that motion and return to upright. It became clear to me that for the time being I needed to not tip my head to the left, or the spinning began again. Also, numerous times while lying in bed, when it would begin, the quickest way to normal, was to place my palm on the vertical side of the bedside stand drawer. Somehow the stillness of that solid object stopped the spin. Otherwise, all is fine - normal - upright and without incident.

 

   There's an exercise that's recommended for getting rid of vertigo which I attempted without assistance, called the Epley Maneuver (http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/liberatory-maneuvers-for-vertigo-epley-maneuver). I also pressed a couple of magnets placed over my ears three or four times for a few moments at a time, and between the 2 of those and some time, as of today (9-8-15) I'm not being hounded by dizziness any longer. What actually made it go away, I cannot tell you, but, being able to once again get up and down, and move, turn and all the other moves we humans do without a thought... is FABULOUS. ...not to mention, a great relief.

MeantToFly: Dark Places

sharing the blog of a friend...


MeantToFly: Dark Places: Long enough, God —      you’ve ignored me long enough. I’ve looked at the back of your head      long enough. Long enough I’ve carrie...

so hard to talk about

Who could imagine so much sudden, emotional upheaval for a single life.  ...in just a year's time.  2012

Mom's birthday in mid February was rough... Dad left home for what turned out to be the last time... went to the hospital and was told he couldn't live alone anymore.  Consequently, when he left the hospital this time, it was to enter an assisted living place in Perrysburg.

Smokey, our 15 year old cat, had been sickly off and on for 6 months or so. When she disappeared in March, we called, and searched and called some more; with no discernible response.  She had done this before, so at first we weren't overly concerned.  Then, one afternoon it occurred to Mike to look under the house for her and there she was. So weak she didn't even move except to look at him when he got down at ground level with a flashlight.  The next day when he checked again, she had not moved and didn't respond at all.  So he took an old bath towel with him to wrap her in, to bring her back out for burial.  We both cried so much over the loss of that sweet old kitty.

By the time the end of April came our way we had pretty much recovered from Smokey's passing, and were adjusting to Peaches being our only cat and were on our way home from church that last Wednesday night of the month, when a light-colored pickup truck blew the stop sign coming off the interstate, pulled across to our lane and slowed to nearly a stop right in front of us as we descended the overpass.  To avoid T-boning the truck, I called out "look out" to Mike who had SEEN the truck blow the sign.  But having expected the truck to keep moving and, not realizing the guy was nearly stopped in our path, Mike glanced at the phone he was handing me.  At my call, he ‘looked out‘, pulled the wheel to the right - moving us partly into the next lane (thankfully there was no traffic in that lane!), but not quite far enough to miss the truck.... resulting in the left front corner of our Dodge Sport pickup catching the left rear of his truck, spinning us 180 degrees, setting off the air bag, leaving us facing up the lane we had just come down and killing the little truck we had had for less than 12 months.

To say we were shaken up is an understatement. That we were surprised when Matt suddenly appeared; that witnesses chased the truck as it left the scene of the accident, but could not get a tag number, so we had no recourse that direction; that I could even talk when I called Pastor's house to report the accident (Mike and others had already called 911) I was shaking so violently... is all beyond description.  And, once again, we were in need of personal transportation. (Thankfully, that was easily resolved.)

All too soon it was August. I was talking with Daddy on the phone on the 5th and saying ‘goodbye’ to him on the 23rd… Attending his memorial the following Monday, (Teri Hansen’s birthday), and driving home the next day, only to attend two more memorial services in the next month and a half.  The first was for Jessica T’s father-in-law and the 2nd for Ruth T’s sweet husband, Victor.

Then, just five days after Victor's memorial, on October 18th, Mike was riding the bike to work on a typical October morning with patchy fog, when a car blew the stop sign (yes! again!), pulled out from a side road into his path.  In what I'm told was a successful attempt not to collide with the car, they believe Mike hit the rear brakes too hard and lost control of the bike. He next opened his eyes in glory.

I never imagined how much I would miss him. The thought returns over and over, that I never wanted to live without Michael here with me.  …not that I would intentionally do myself harm, by any means… but I’m not (just about a month out from the accident) really enthused with life at this point.  I’m not seeing a purpose for all the hours between Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings.  Now... months later... I think it might actually be more difficult than it was those first 2 months.  It is most certainly harder to keep a clear head some days...

"Murphy's Lesser Known Laws"

This one's not my writing and is just for silliness (a high school classmate shared it on FB.) :D
  
1-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 
2-He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 
3-Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 
4-Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 
5-Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 
6-The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 
7-If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog 
8-The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first. 
9-Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 
10-Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. 
11-The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 
12-A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 
13-When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. 

OK... so we know that's not all true... it just SEEMS like it!

Coping w/stresses of life

My friend, raramom06, described herself as OVERWHELMED in one of her recent blogs... That may well be the best description of the way many of us find ourselves at this point in time. I know it fits me, too.

The question this raises is how to adequately deal with this condition in which we find ourselves.  And as I ponder it, I think about Sundays... especially Sunday mornings (but also Wednesday evenings)... which seem to be the only time all the other, overwhelming STUFF is set aside... nay PUSHED aside! and aside to the point where it has virtually no influence !!!  Yes, it attempts, every so often, to push back... to re-enter the consciousness... to put itself back in the center of things.  But for those precious hours each week, all is realigned with First Things at the very Front of the Stage... all the responsibilities and cares of this world are  set aside and the focus of all that I am  settles in on the One who Loved me first.


When I leave the sanctuary of my church family/home, and get to 'feeling' as though I'm out here all alone, I've tried to allow my heart and mind to be surrounded with that same sense of Presence.  ...no question, it's not always a success... it hasn't proved the easiest thing to do under attack... although I must admit, the attacks seem less ... something.  less potent?  less powerful?  less frequent is even a possibility... 


Now if only I could keep from getting distracted :)

Lost & Found

I'm fully aware that my previous few blogs have been - shall we say - conflicting? That would be because I've been somewhat conflicted on the subject of Christmas. BUT there are things about which I have absolutely NO inner conflict ...the PRIMARY one being the concept of mankind's lost condition. 


When we humans became separated from God, several thousand years [and more generations than I can imagine ago], looking at it from GOD'S PERSPECTIVE, we became lost to Him. ... you don't 'FEEL' lost??  You think you know where you are and where you are going...   so what?  TO GOD, you are LOST. 


Oh, you need a better picture...


 ... hmm... 


Okay, try this. Have you ever had a pet that left home only to finally return after days, weeks or months had passed? To YOU the pet was lost, even though it thought it knew where it was all the time.  Bingo! ...lost and found.


Humanity left God way back when... Until we return we are 'lost'.... When individual humans return to God... they're 'found' (that wasn't hard to understand at all, was it?!) 


The God's Word, the Bible, uses "saved"... wonder why that is... what does a lost person have to be saved from? ever wonder about that? Now there's something to ponder! No, it's not saved from lions, and tigers and bears! oh, my! 


Let's return to the lost pet...YOU DON'T KNOW what happens to it if it never comes home!!!! It may have lived out its life with another family; it may have passed into eternity in an unknown place, with no one to love or bury it. 


But, there's a serious difference between the human and the pet. The pet is a soul that never had the Spirit given to it.... the human, on the other hand, when they went 'lost' HAD THE SPIRIT OF GOD REMOVED FROM THEM because God could not live in the same body with rebellion. So, what happens to a human if he or she never comes 'home' to God? They may live separated from Him, but when they enter eternity, they REMAIN separated from Him. We need to be saved from that separation! and from the rebellion that is not only built into each of us as a result of that separation, but was the CAUSE of it, as well. 


Don't any of you go thinkin' that it doesn't matter where you spend eternity... the description of the end of those who refuse to return to God ... taking the only way He made available... is NOT a pretty picture. The pain felt living here won't even come close! 


Don't take the chance.... God sent His only Son... to reconcile humanity to Himself... one heart at a time .... each of us has to accept the sacrifice of the Son of Man on his/her behalf, to avoid the only alternative. Come home! I beg you. 


Come home! 




Tags: salvation, reconciliation 


Tuesday 25 December 2007 - 07:50PM (EST)  | 2 Comments